christophe lemaire,etc.

ang ganda ng color green!


ang nerdy ng designer ng lacoste. pero i find him hot. khit malaki ang probability na gay siya!


amazing person.

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"and we could have everything and everyday we make it more
impossible."

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i wish we could both realize how we are alike. but sadly,we are bounded, not by our limitations, but by expectations. we expect a lot from each other yet we clearly know that those are far from occuring.

what happened?

we used to know each other well. but now that we are both doing well, an imaginary distance filled our closely-knitted lives. well, i wont blame anyone about this, unlike what i usually do whenever someone dear to me lets my hand slip away. i wont even blame myself.

but you know what...

it's amazing that in spite of the created distance, you are still the only person who can capture the raw image of me dropping a tear for an unimportant something. i guess, you still mean more to me than any other guy i've met. or maybe because i know, that it would tear you apart to see me sobbing. because you know, your heart is worth breaking into pieces just for me. i just love that idea. and i hope, we could live our everyday living with that in mind.

i could not say, "i wish we could settle our differences." like what i've said, we are really so alike.

i could not even say, "i wish you could love me more." in fact, you have loved me more than enough.

i blurted out to leo that blogs are not really reliable. but what is more unreliable is the tough facade we are showing each other everyday, as if we are both unaware that we used to be happy

but now what??

we're stong?

we're great?

we're good enough?

we're better?

we're better than the other?

but we are not contestants here, right?

we're a team.

(remember that anna li.)

so now, i am asking myself to stop feeling superior over the mind that feeds me every bit of anything inside and outside of me. to stop undermining him because... of many reasons...but above all... because he doesn't deserve it.

sorry.

i really want to be a better person, but i only did it for the earthly, friendly, academic,etc. standards.

now, im focusing on the daughterly.

i wish i could do our before-bed ritual even if i am so old now.

"good night! i love you! sweet dreams!"