"SCORPIO (Oct.23 - Nov.22)nagbabalak ka bang lumyo muna kahit pansamantala sa iyong mahal? gawin mo dahil 'yon ang nararapat.babalik ka pa ba?oo, dahil sa paglayo mo, magigising siya sa katotohanan.maswerteng kulay:
puprle maswerteng numero: 2, 18, 29, 31,35 at 37."
i saw this tabloid lying round our sofa just after i finally decided to give up on tim yap's hosting skills. it was risible, mr. yap. im sorry. i grabbed it and thought that i was so pathetic to be interested on such a trivial thing as a horoscope plotted by madame rosa. but i read it anyway.
this is so ridiculous-- making a blog entry about a horoscope and how it has affected me. so selfish. but anyway.. read on.
pangyayaring nagbunsod: i was pondering about it while i was sleeping. i remembered convincing myself that he was so easy to get out of my mind. almost the whole day, i was certain about this. even while i was talking about it, having heard myself, my stand was so firm-- that this is just something i could give up because right at the beginning, i know this is just a foreshadow of another disappointment.
and then at a humdrum moment of sitting somewhere secluded, i had an epiphany. the realization was nothing new to me. actually, it was too old to consider. and this was..the concept of caring for someone else's happiness. comprehend that. CARING for SOMEONE ELSE'S HAPPINESS. comprehend it.one more time.
i had been too selfish recently because i felt so used and battered. i felt that i was deprived of the happiness i deserve. i thought thinking things thoroughly would generate lesser pain. wrong. it just froze my life onto nothing but bitterness.
goodbye permafrost. thanks to madame rosa, i am now ready to stop my "pink sarong" subscription. thanks to you, now i know my winter has gone too long, way too long. the first part of my horoscope became my self-fulfilling belief. hope the other sentences too. never mind the lucky numbers and color.
________
epilogue:
i'll miss you when you do..
but im praying that you will.
